Open Mic with Secretly Timid : Matthew Limpede

Mathew reads his short story, One Day.

Matthew S. Limpede was born and raised in Lewisville, Texas, a suburb just north of Dallas. He has a long history of affection for the arts, beginning with writing in his formative years. Throughout high school he participated in theater, and he continued writing and worked on several plays and screenplays while attending NYU Tisch School of the Arts. After 4 semesters, he decided he preferred the warmth of Texas and continued his degree work at UT Dallas, where he discovered the art of the short story and the textured world of literary fiction.

Matthew continues to write while working fulltime in a north suburb of Dallas. His short story collection, You Can Grieve Your Dreams Too, is nearing completion. The collection is a series of interrelated stories that explores the power of dreams both literal and figurative as characters try to find themselves and their place within the urban landscapes of Texas, California, and New York.

Matthew is also currently the editor of Carve Magazine, an online short fiction magazine.

Episode 15 : Too Pretty for Radio

Ashley and Stanton sit in for Diane on what turned out to be one hilarious episode. Between talks of spiritual crystals and Halloween costumes, the ensemble tackled a variety of different topics including : a teenager who survives a 16-story fall in New Zealandsandwiches in cans, strange Scottish beers, a dating website for the beautiful, one family’s odd choice of discipline, and a blog which showcases some amazing baby pics. The ensemble also dish out bar advice and Paul can’t pronounce Jill’s maiden name. It’s “Hoes” btw. Oh, and Stanton is very, very pretty.

The featured song for today’s episode is “The Sugar Cube” by Kristina Cox

Episode 14 : What to do with a Bedazzled Bible

On this week’s episode the quartet discuss why parents hate parenting, passive-aggressive wedding presents, Facebook’s spotty customer service record, and alien contingency plans. Also, Jon wears a Diane themed shirt and Paul is on T.V.

The featured song for this week’s episode is “Hey Jimmy” by The Theater Fire.

Highlight of Jill’s Summer (And Possibly Diane’s, Too)

The RaceTrac Freefill Cup is easily one of the best things that has happened to me this summer.

This little plastic vessel has been a minister of love and harmony during the long, hot days of June and July in Texas. For only $6.99, I have scored the ability to help myself to unlimited refills of soda and frozen drinks through Labor Day weekend. In return, RaceTrac has secured every tank of gas I have purchased in that same time (and that’s a lot of gas, since I’m teaching summer classes 30 miles from my house!). Additionally, the big RT has benefited from my recent addiction to Reese’s Pieces and ReeseSticks, which I purchase exclusively in conjunction with Freefill stops. I suspect I have eaten my weight in those things this past month.

Moments after we recorded Episode 12, Diane was also initiated to the sacred fellowship of Freefills. We enjoyed 22 oz. each of (Diet) Dr Pepper in the RaceTrac parking lot, and marveled at our ability to “go out for drinks” in such a fun and thrifty manner. At last check, D had already gotten double her money’s worth out of the deal, and RaceTrac nabbed at least one fill-up of her trusty Buick.

Thus, I salute you, RaceTrac, for your brilliant marketing ploy. While in previous summers I distributed my love of carbonated beverages amongst your competitors (64¢ 32oz. drinks from QuickTrip, $1 drinks at McDonald’s, and Sonic’s half-price Happy Hour), my patronage has now focused exclusively on your fine establishment. I am fully aware of the consumer-corporate exchange at work here, and perfectly at peace with it. I would buy gasoline anyway; I would consume dentally-nightmarish quantities of Dr Pepper anyway. You have claimed my business and my heart. At least until September 6.

Help Paul’s car

Paint is actively peeling off the front bumper of my car and I have no clue why or what to do about it.  It’s a Pontiac Vibe and I only see old cars on the roads with the same problem.  Do you have any ideas, listeners?  I appreciate the help!

Episode 13 : Bang Bang!

In today’s episode Jon, Diane, Paul, and Jill discuss a number of different news stories. These stories include the murder/suicide involving the mayor of Coppell,  GPS being used to stalk, irony at a anti-violence barbecue, and a chastity belt made for your man (def NSFW.) Also, Jon calls Jill the “D” word and Paul and Diane compare Facebook friend requests.

The featured song for today’s episode is “Smoke” by Liz Phair.

Am I being a Dick?

So I am slowly getting back into twitter (handle: jonleehart). I follow way too many celebrities…and one in particular is working my nerves hardcore: Sherrie fuckin’ Shepherd.

I know, I watch The View. I got hooked when Rosie was throwing her weight around, and now Joy throws just enough sass to keep me watching. Elizabeth makes me want to slit my throat (although sometimes she surprises me) and Whoopi is just a snooze fest. The show is always better when Babs is gone…and well, Sherrie was always annoying to me.

The annoyance started way back when she said that she didn’t know whether or not the Earth was round. It continued when she voiced her concerns about a woman’s right to choose. I don’t know whether or not she is pro or anti- choice…but given her history with abortions some things she has stated has made her appear hypocritical.

The annoyance factor hit a high note a couple of weeks ago when she and D.L. Hughley started to spread false information about men on the “down low” spreading HIV to their unsuspecting girlfriends. (This all spawned from a discussion regarding gay men being banned from donating blood. The point that was trying to be made was that if black women are contracting the virus at a growing rate should that demographic be banned as well). Anyways, this tumbled down to downlow gay men spreading HIV to their girlfriends.

The problem here is not gay sex or straight sex. The problem is unprotected sex. The problem with Ms. Shepherd and Mr. Hughley is that they not only failed to acknowledge this, but they also failed to acknowledge the various other ways the virus is spread (hello needles.) And ABC’s refusal to correct this sucks monkey balls.

Back to the twitter…well the past couple of days made me realize how often she twats…she twats about busting her ass…about eating dinner with another celebrity…about going to the salon…about being celibate…all day she twats. Today she twatted about how over 3D movies and complained that the only movie theater playing the movie she wanted to see (the non 3D version) airs after her sons bedtime.

I couldn’t control it. I twatted back “There are bigger problems in this world.” I don’t know if she will read it…but the force and speed at which I struck the keys sounded nice and relieved some of my frustration.

So, am I being a dick?

Episode 12 : Just the Four of Us

Jon, Diane, Paul and Jill hang out in the cat studio. Topics include boxes, television shows, and foods you should never eat. The featured song is “Juiceboxx” by Le Sexoflex.