Two Weeks

On this week’s show, Jon, Otieno, and Ryan are joined by special guest Megan. Topics include Otieno being loud and not turning off the interior light to his car resulting in the battery dying.

Other hot topics include:

This week’s featured song is “Old Swan” by Mark Lanegan

Episode 99 : Gay Chicken

This week we have a very, very special guest in the cat studio. DANIEL MITCHELL!!! From theI Can’t Believe I’m a Loser podcast. Even though ICBIAL is a Seattle based show,  it just so happens that Daniel is from the DFW area and is in town visiting family. With Diane off being a mother and Danielle off taking photos of Parisian mustaches, the dudes talked about such topics like masturbation techniques, sex toys, and music. Daniel shared a bit about his show and we seriously hope he stops by again next time he is in town. If you haven’t subscribed to their show yet…do it…do it now.

Hot topics for this show includes : a fun quiz that determines your political leanings based on television choices, a middle school student sues her school after they get all shitty with her because she said some shit on her Facebook page (the ACLU has her back), a study finds that those who find phones inevitably snoop through them, and a flight attendant goes crazy on a flight…and no, this story is not from Florida.

 

 

This week’s featured song is “Estimate X 3” from the album, Candidate Waltz by Centro-Matic.

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Episode 95 : VD

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!! The show is just a true Comedy of Errors. We’re talking phone rings, bumpers running amok, and chords being unplugged left and right. We could edit all that shit out…but we believe that it is the flaws that make you beautiful.

On today’s show Diane is Between Here and Cool, Danielle is not easily offended, Paul apologizes to Alonso Duralde, and Jon wants to get tasered.

Hot Topics include : Whitney Houston passes away, women want to be beat by Chris Brown, being sleepy and drunk leads to creativity, a model with a 20 inch waist just lurves chocolate, and CPAC brings out the closet cases. Other topics include this past week’s The Walking Dead mid-season premier (SPOILER ALERT MOFO’S!!) and this coming week’s premier of Survivor and The Amazing Race.

Photo By Steve Gullick

This week’s featured song is “Sweet Sour” by Band of Skulls.

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Episode 75 : Pederasty

Good Day! On today’s show Danielle sees Neon Indian, Paul hack’s Jon’s wifi, and Diane looks pretty. Hot Topics include : A Brazilian man has snakes and turtles in his pants, a man chronicles his sexual escapades with a dolphin, an Alabaman town offers offenders a choice : church or jail, judge orders Casey Anthony to pay double the cost of the investigation, a child brings a crack pipe to show-and-tell, and a UPenn professor was a no-show on the first day of class…because he passed away 5 months earlier. Other topics include Survivor and the Amazing Race…and the difference between “white” and “white-white.” Oh, and Jon rants about a past English Professor.

This week’s featured music is “4 Minute Mile” by Bell X1.

We want so badly to be nominated for the Podcast Awards. It would mean the world to us if you could take a minute and go to www.podcastawards.com and nominate us under the “general” category. Our url is www.secretlytimid.com. Do it and we will love you forever.

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Episode 58 : Boy’s Night

It’s boy’s night at Secretly Timid. Jon changes his inappropriate ways and Paul shares his favorite podcasts. The two then talk comic books and the season finale of Survivor, The Amazing Race and Celebrity Apprentice. News stories include Lars Von Trier’s Nazi speech at Cannes, residents at a Singapore apartment drinking corpse-tainted water, Canadian parents who are keeping the sex of their child a secret, and another woman hiding things in her lady flower.

This week’s featured song is “Go For the Throat” by The Elected.

Episode 24 : Pumpkin

Happy fall everyone! On today’s episode Diane reports that the canned pumpkin shortage has come to an end. In unrelated news, atheists know more about religion than the religious, Cornell University introduces “gender neutral” facilities, and the group discusses what their last meal would be (in addition to debating capital punishment.)

This episode’s featured song is “Now What” by Quasi.

It will fry your Eyeholes

This lil blog post has been swirling in me for a while now. I, like Jill, watch too much television. Well, I don’t really “watch” it…I more “listen” to it. This semester I am reading my ass off, and I am the kind of brain who needs background noise…hence the t.v. During the day the dial is glued on MSNBC (stop rolling your eyes, Jill).

Prime time, though…I watch. Here is what I watch. Don’t be judgin’.

Britney and Ragan made a boring season somewhat less boring. I hope the next season is full of type A personalities…people who are more cutthroat. Gimme a Libra…a Sheila…a something. Let’s get some diversity up in this house…I mean, just like The Real World we get a few minorities (one African-American, one gay, one Jew) and move them in with a bunch of whities.  What if there were all sorts of diversity up in the house? Imagine the possibilities. And hey, production, how about we just let them play the game. This show, like M Night Shyamalan movies, is failing because of the excessive “twists.”

Hayden won. Eh. To be honest, I was rooting for Britney most of the season. Without a doubt the star of the season (and I hate that I am typing this) was Rachel and “HER MAN” Braden. Rachel (and another reality television personality I will talk about soon) is one of the most delusional personalities I have ever watched. Truly fascinating…much in the same way boils pre-lancing are fascinating. And Braden, wow, what a lapdog. That relationship is doomed.

On The Daily Purge‘s last episode J. Michael Haas and Sara Davis discussed Big Brother and Big Brother UK. On the UK version viewers vote out the hamsters (contestants). I would love it if our Big Brother gave this a try…Unless something changes this season may be my last.

This season was full of privileged brats behaving very badly. Two cast members stood out to me as being both sane and morally upstanding : Eric Patrick and Ashlee Feldman. However, they were overshadowed by an alcoholic mess/domestic violence victim and her crass, slightly abusive boyfriend. Ryan “I’m not gay” Leslie, like Big Brother’s Rachel, is not living in the real world (a pun). He has no redeeming value and it hurts my heart to think that some Slutty McSlutterson is giving up the punany for him to orgasm.

This season was more diverse than past season’s, however…it didn’t feel that way. “Liberal Muslim” Sahar was in the house…yet she seemed to only be Muslim by name only. And just as I predicted we got that one “special” episode in which they visited areas grossly affected by Hurricane Katrina and they all cried and gave their PSA confessionals and by next episode they were back to boozin, fightin, and fuckin. I don’t know why I tuned in.

This past week Tim Gunn said “Jackie O would not have camel toe.” No truer words have been spoken.

My favorites this season are April and Christopher. I hate Gretchen. Her clothes are always boring. Her elitist tone makes me want to spit nails. Also, one of those Garnier guys should teach her how to properly apply rouge.

Ah, Survivor. This season just started so my opinion is bound to change. I don’t know how I feel about an amputee survivor. It seems to me that she was added because of her disability, not in lieu of it. Survivor is so physical, I don’t know how she will be able to wrestle with the other Survivors. Although, on P90x one of the instructors is also on one leg so perhaps I am speaking out of ignorance.

I don’t know about this “old vs. young” thing. I don’t want to see old people getting their asses kicked…and this sentimental “we are going to show them young’uns” is such bullshit. Sorry grandpa, your joints are creakier, your muscles are dimplier, your bones are fraglier…you aren’t going to win a physical competition. The only advantage the old ones may have is that perhaps they will better be able to place their ego aside, however Jimmy T. is proving that notion wrong.

WHAT is with the crotch blur? We all know that men have penises, and if they are wearing underwear…oh my god, you just may see a bulge…you maybe even see ***GASP*** whether or not they are circumcised. Survivor is grimy, it’s physical, it’s musty…I can’t believe that the censors are blurring and I can’t believe that somewhere someone wrote an angry email. This is just more proof that the terrorists won.

The only gripe I have with this show is Dana White. If you know your show is one basic cable why the fuck are you saying “fuck” so much? It just gets beeped…and the beepers beep so much that they beep the beginning syllable or your next word and we can’t figure out what the beep you are trying to say.

Bruce Leroy aka “Alex Caceres is my favorite…probably because I loved The Last Dragon. I also was really impressed with the Native American fighter…don’t know his name and had no luck googling it.

This show always makes me smile. I would love to try out…and if they ever have tryouts in Dallas again, I will. Although my least favorite part of this show is the final stage.

This is, by far, the BEST show on television. Katy Sagal is amazing. Charlie Hunnam is amazing. Ron Perlman is amazing. Is this show a modern day Hamlet? I can see the influence.

So, what are you watching?