Retro Review : Them!

Directed by

Gordon Douglas

Written by

Ted Sherdeman
Russell Hughes
George Worthing Yates


James Whitmore
Edmund Gwenn
Joan Weldon
James Arness

Music By

Bronislau Kaper

Warner Bros.

Original Release Date : June 19, 1954



About 10 years ago I was living in a posh apartment in Frisco, and one night I invited my friends over for some drinks and debauchery. Later that evening we took a jaunt over to Wendys for some late night foodage. The partying continued and in the destruction a plate of french fries was buried under a pile of pillows. The following day I woke up to a trail of ants coming from the patio to the double fried potato sticks. There is nothing more disgusting than the sight of insectual feasting…all those little ants ripping the shit out of the fries and taking it back to the colony. So, so gross.

Well, I first heard of the movie THEM! by playing Fallout 3. During the game the player must save a city overrun by giant, mutated ants. This mission was called….you guessed it… “Them!”

This film follows a group of heroes battling an army of mutated ants. The mutation was a result of atomic radiation created from nuclear testing. Although the group were ultimately successful,  the film ends on a ominous tone with the lead scientist saying, “When man entered the atomic age, he opened the door to a new world. What we may eventually find in that new world, nobody can predict.”


Kaper’s musical arrangement is incredibly effective, as was the chilling  Sound the ants used to communicate. The acting was, for the most part, above average given the style of the time period. Everyone knows that no suspense film is complete without a creepy child. This child, played by Sandy Descher, fills this role in spades. The half broken doll was a nice touch.  There was also a feminist edge to this film that made me cheer. In one scene, Dr. Pat Medford (Joan Weldon) was prepared to enter the colony because her father, Dr. Harold Medford, (played by Edmund Gwenn) was unable to due to his age. The able bodied men originally protested, exclaiming that the dangerous colony was no place for a woman. Dr. Pat Medford appealed to their common sense…a scientist was needed and no other one was present. Remember folks, this was the 1950’s.

The special effects, while obviously dated, are still pretty impressive. I also had no idea that they had flame throwers back then. I know, duh…if they can make the atom bomb, they can make flame throwers.

Them! is available to watch instantly on Netflix. If you are a fan of sci-fi, like monster movies, or are interested in films from the 1950’s, this one is worth checking out.


La Luna Entertainment Presents “Fright Flick” (Spoiler Free)

When I was but a wee lad I was magnetically drawn to horror movies. My all-time favorite will always be A Nightmare on Elm Street. I loved Nancy Thompson. I also loved the other big franchises : Halloween, Friday the 13th, Critters (did you know Billy Zane was in that?). I also loved Sleep Away Camp (what a twist!), Evil Dead, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Yea…I am kinda  a horror movie nerd. This nerd is very, very happy that indie filmmaker Israel Luna’s (Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives) latest is an homage to those films I love.

Fright Flick

Written and Directed by Israel Luna

Starring : Chad Allen, Daphne Khoury, Adam Kitchen, Richard D. Curtain, Todd Jenkins, and Charles Raker

If you are a fan of horror B-Movies, then you will love Fright Flick. The plot is simple; the cast of a B-Movie are mysteriously murdered. Whodunit? Was it the slimy director (Richard D. Curtain)? The angry producer (Todd Jenkins)? The jealous supporting actress (Daphne Khoury)?

This film is billed as a horror-comedy, so as expected most lines of dialogue serves to deliver jokes or to further the plot. It’s somewhat stilted and choppy, but purposefully so. Still, there are some very funny moments like make-up artist Chase’s (Charles Baker) monologue and starlet Ophelia’s (Valerie Nelson) flubbed lines (“anusly and vaginally”). The characters are little more than props to be murdered in some beautifully brutal fashion. Let’s be honest, this is why we love these sorts of films. Oh, and note to self : never lean over a gas station counter.

In horror films, the audience should root for the survival of the “last woman standing.” One of the “twists” of this film is that her identity is hidden until later in the film. I found her identity to be surprising, but once her identity was uncovered I got behind her (no pun intended) 100 %. The identity of the killer may not be as surprising to those familiar with horror films, but the final fright was still very fun. You can help bring Fright Flick to Netflix by adding it to your queue.