All right. Everyone knows the Secretly Timid crew have boners for the Walking Dead…however, it has come to my attention that not all of our listener’s wanna hear us gush about each episode every week. So to satiate my need to converse I decided to offer my review of each episode. I suppose I should warn you now. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Part 1 : Episode Synopsis

This season premier opens with an action only sequence of our happy survivors (sans Andrea) raiding a house. It is clear that some time has passed because Lori is now totally fat. Later Rick spies a prison off in the distance and decides this could be the miracle they are looking for, what with the ticking time bomb of Lori’s pregnancy set to go off any day and all. The group clear the outer gates of walkers and a gang consisting of Rick, Daryl, T-Dog, Glen, and Maggie take out the walkers inside the inner gates by utilizing the tried and true Greek phalanx war strategy. Yay! The prison is theirs!

Meanwhile, bad-ass Michonne is beheading zombies and stealing aspirin for her new best friend, Andrea, who looks really hungover. I’m guessing its pneumonia. The duo leave their nest that is a meat locker for greener pastures or something. They don’t know where they are going, but Michonne’s 2 zombie pets in chains will follow.

Meanwhile, our prison crew decide to go exploring in the maze-like inner  halls of the prison. Shit goes down and Hershel gets bit by a lurker zombie. Rick and the crew drag his ass to safety and chop off his leg at the knee. The episode ends with the realization that our heroes aren’t the only living beings in the prison! Some prisoners survived…are they friend or foe? Will Hershel survive?

Part 2 : The Good

• The pacing of this episode was AWESOME. The Prison looks like some shit went down. In an interview show-runner Glen Mazzera said he wanted to the prison to look like a huge motherfucking zombie movie took place there and our heroes break in after it ended. He succeeded.
• Carol – I hated you Season 1 and 2 and in just one episode you made me fall in love with you. She’s cheerful, she’s got a little sass, and she is shooting guns. I like her teasing Daryl.
• Lori – Goddamn you writers!! I wanted to continue my hate for this character…yet I am feeling empathy for her due to how poorly Rick is treating her. I know, she deserves it…and the longer she is pregnant the more it is likely the baby isn’t his…but damn…it’s the zombie apocalypse! Life is too short to be a dick to your wife. Even if she was an uber bitch. Lighten up. She is pregnant and scared. Although, she shouldn’t be worried that the baby would be a zombie and rip through her. Babies are super weak and have no teeth.
• Rick- He’s dark. Super dark. He has become the character the fanboys were whimpering for. I am interested to see how far he will go before he comes back to humanity.

Part 3 : The Bad

Its like, logical and stuff – My biggest gripe…my BIGGEST gripe…is when the writers pull unrealistic shit for the sake of the story. Per example- Lori is super pregnant. Ok, so Hershel is no doctor, but he’s delivered dozens of baby pigs and horses, so he is qualified. Now, dear reader…if your wife was uber preggers in the zombie apocalypse and all you had was a FUCKING vet to aid in the delivery of a baby that may or may not be yours…would you allow the vet to go exploring the unsecured prison? Would you? No, that is not logical. Yet, for the sake of the story Rick allows the geriatric vet to go exploring in a bullet proof vest. Whatever. RIP Hershel’s leg.

Part 4 : The Verdict

Overall, I give this episode a 4.5 out of 5 stars. It was  a great premier….can’t wait to see the next episode. What did you all think?